Day 6: It's all about me?

January 1, 2010

Writing that date feels strange, I can't believe it is actually 2010. I mean, this is the year we are supposed to make contact.

Anyways, as a writer you tend to write about stuff you know. Which means when you are creating characters, you may tend to give certain characters the same traits that you yourself may possess. With me it is no different. I tend to always create characters that are similar to myself in some certain type a way. That goes for other people you know too. The only reason I am bringing this up is because recently when I have been writing characters that are similar to myself, it is hard for me to see them as the good guy. Without going into a great amount of detail, it is very difficult for me to see what good I have done of late.

Every time I look back on how I act or treat people it seems like I am never quite acting in greatest fashion towards them. I don't seem to be the nicest guy in the world. Without even realizing it, it seems that I have kind of turned into the worst version of myself. I say horrible things to people without even knowing I am saying it. That goes for how I treat people as well. Over the past year or so I have been much less caring about others then I used to. Given, I have never been the most caring person in the world but over the past couple of years, it seems to be getting worse.

I am only writing this because it worries me. If a character based on me is a bad person, does that make me a bad person as well? I would hate to think that I am not a good person but if I truly am a bad person, is it too late to try and change myself? Or am I just better off basing my characters off of other people and keeping myself out of it entirely? Maybe this is a normal thing that writers go through. Maybe it is why not everyone is able to be creative all the time. If writing creatively means constantly learning more about yourself than you ever wanted to know, then maybe this writing thing is going to be even harder then I first thought.

I suppose either way I am going to learn something. I just hope it is not something that I am not ready to find out.