Work and The Golden Compass!

So I've been working a lot lately, which is why I have not posted in a while. I am very happy about this but my plan was to show you cool pictures of Chicago and talk about how The Golden Compass is like the best movie ever(well not really, but it is really good). Though for right now, I will be happy with my lack of time. I will post soon though. Oh yeah, go see The Golden Compass. Between the crazy Christians and the so-so reviews, the movie is not making any money, which is terrible because if it bombs they won't make the other books. Anyways, go see it and if you hate it, sorry.

Someone read my blog.

So I kind of forgot that this thing was actually on the internet for anyone to read. I was taking it for granted that nobody knew about this thing so I kind of would just say exactly what was on my mind while I was writing. It is probably good to have a editing feature in your brain, but mine is basically always turned off. So now that this thing is huge, I am going to have to live up to the responsibility that comes with this power. I am so nervous I could spit blood. If someone is actually still reading this post, please except my apologizes. I'm going up north tomorrow, which is pretty sweet because even though I come back on Sunday, I am leaving again on Wednesday to go visit my Aunt in Illinois for Thanksgiving. I should go to sleep, now I'm just writing for the sake of writing. O.K, good night.

Boo Hoo ya cry baby!

I am so whiny it is embarrassing. I will try harder next time not to fill the internet with garbage like my last post.

I'm not asking for life to be easy.

Today should have been a good day and it was until about nine o'clock tonight. The idea was to wake up fairly early, you know like 9am, and go get a coffee and wait in line to go vote. I was looking forward to this very much until my phone woke me up. Given it was already like 9:30am, but I didn't have to be anywhere until 2:30pm, so I just figured "what's the rush". The phone call was from my boss telling me that he needed me to come into the office at 11am because they just got a deposition call in and it was for today at 1pm. First off, this was not a bad thing. I have been begging for hours for weeks now, so this was a blessing. I got everything together really quick and then I made my way over there. I went to the deposition and was looking at a very good day. As long as this dep. ended by 3:15pm, I would still be able to make my second dep. and make some good money today. Well, that didn't happen because the dep. didn't end until after 4pm.

This was a bummer because I missed out on two or three more hours of work, which is what I want. So I finished up my deposition, which was not easy due to technical difficulties, but I did it. I then called my boss to tell him how it went and before I could even tell him how the deposition went, he told me that they just got a brand new court case in and that they were going to let me do it all next week. He was excited, I was excited, it was just a good time. I must clarify first off, I have two bosses at my job. The one who I talked to this morning was boss number one and the boss I called after the deposition was boss number two. The happy conversation I had was with boss number two. He got me this case next week and all was good with him.

Here comes the problem. I told boss number two that tomorrow is a bad day for me. I have some important financial matters to attend to that I can no longer postpone. He was totally cool with that and told me that I should just take tomorrow off to take care of things. I said "thank you" and all was well with the world. Then at about nine o'clock tonight I get a call from boss number one. I miss his call but I quickly call him back. He is calling me to let me know that he got another deposition for me to do , which is great, but it is tomorrow. I then have the misfortune of telling him that I cannot do it. He works his butt off to get me work and just like that, I tell him I cannot do it. I apologized several times to him but he didn't really seem to care. He pretty much hung up the phone with a "You can't do it, O.K", no goodbye.

I feel terrible about the whole thing. I beg for work and then when they give it to me I turn it down. This is where I finally come to my point. I don't want life to be easy, I just want it to be doable. Positive thinking people are always saying that you have to take the bad with the good, from my experience it seems more like you are always taking the bad with the worse. I hope I have not caused any permanent damage with my boss, I really do like this job. I know I am being ultra dramatic here, but I really just don't want to start over again. It seems like it is all I ever do anymore.

I think I'm going to pretend I'm not me.

I used to be this really happy person until about one year ago. Since then, I have been this depressed whiny person who gets pissed about stupid things and treats others like garbage. I hate that I do this but it doesn't seem to be changing, no matter how hard I try. So today while I was crying on the floor in my shower, I decided that in order to get back to the old happy me, I would have to start pretending to be someone else. Now I have done this before, being in the witness protection program three seperate times does that to a person, but seriously, I need to make a change. So I have decided to embrace the inner-someone other than me, and go with a more happy outlook on life. I am hoping this will fix all of my problems, at least until tomorrow.

It was supposed to be funny.

When I started this blog a couple of months ago I suppose I was in a different place then I am today. When I say, "different place", I don't mean location(though I am living in a different place then I used to, but that is besides the point). What I mean by it, is I am in a different place in my life than I was four months ago. Back then I was planning on writing a blog that was supposed to be nonsensical and fun. Instead I have turned it into a personnel journal of sorts, which if anything is just desperate and sad. I can say these things because I don't know a single person who reads my blog, which at this point in time is a good thing. I guess what I am trying to say is that I didn't mean for this blog to be some serious story of my life, it was supposed to be funny. Instead, four months later it is an unfocused diary of sorts. Somewhere for me to bitch about my life and offer nothing funny or insightful to the world. Maybe I am being dramatic(I think maybe is probably out of the question at this point), but I just wish I would have done it differently. Or hell, maybe I'm wrong and this is all a blog is supposed to be anyway. Either way, it's a bummer that it turned out this way. This entry has been rather pointless and sad, for that I am sorry. Not that I am apologizing to anyone other than myself.

It's a Celebration!

So today was a very good day. I am finishing off my second week at my brand new job, which I happen to love. I now work for a video production company that does electronic and exhibit work for law firms. This means that I spend all day in court, doing cool stuff like watching court cases and reading books. The reason it is a Celebration is because yesterday was a good day as well. To some people this may not be grounds for a celebration but since I can't actually remember the last time I had two good days in a row, I am celebrating. Which is also odd because I am by myself celebrating, but sometimes I think those are the best kinds of celebrations. Because if you can be happy with yourself, than you are pretty much at peace with the world.

Cubs are going to the Playoffs baby!

So the Tigers just missed the playoffs this week. It was not really a surprise, the injuries they had this season were just too much to overcome. Still, a very good season from the boys nonetheless. The good news is that my other team has made the playoffs. The Chicago Cubs finished in last place in 2006 and in 2007 they will not be spending their days and nights at home. I have been a die hard Cubs fan just as long as I have been a Tigers fan, so tonight is a good night. The beauty of growing up in Detroit is having WGN out of Chicago, because as a kid I watched just as many Cubs games, if not more, than I did Tigers games. I, like all Cubs fans are hoping they can break their 99 year drought this year, as I do not want to have them become the first team in sports history to go 100 years without a championship. For right now though, I am not going to dwell on the negative because tonight, all that matters is that the Chicago Cubs are going to the playoffs!

Why do I feel sorry for Lindsay Lohan?

So I can't help but feel sorry for Lindsay Lohan. Unlike Britney Spears and Paris Hilton, who I can't stand and wish they would just be put out of their/my misery, I feel sorry for Lindsay. I know she is just some dumb girl who can't stay out of trouble, but for some reason when I here about her run in's with the law, I actually feel bad for her. I don't know if it is because both of her parents are total rejects or if it is because she reminds me of someone that I know, but I truly feel sorry for her. This of course makes me feel and sound like a complete lunatic, but I really do hope that Ms. Lohan is able to straighten her life out. She is a very talented actress that I wish all the best of luck to. Actually, I think this means that my life is going well right now. I mean, why else would I be worried about some rich actress. Wow, I think I just threw up in my mouth a little bit for writing this.

One more thing crossed off my list.

So I quit my job last Monday. I lasted only ten days, which is not quite as long as I was hoping for. I was kind of hoping for a starting point to a very long lasting career, but instead I lasted ten days. The job was basically my worst nightmare come true. I was a telemarketing sales person, which is basically like saying you have to go and scrub clean a shit covered bathroom everyday with a toothbrush and then brush your teeth with it later that night. Though, I think I would have rather cleaned up the shit then done what I was doing at that job. So now I am kind of back to where I was six weeks ago, except I know one more thing now than I did back then; I hate sales jobs worse than doing construction. Which is information that will come in handy for me, for the rest of my life. Because the only thing more important than knowing what you what to do for a living, is knowing exactly what you don't want to do. Which is good for me I suppose, but it still leads me back to the drawing board, though at least I have one more thing crossed off of my list.

Why is it that every beginning has to come with an ending?

So I have been roofing and siding for over a decade now. I have been doing one form of construction since I was sixteen years old and in three days I will be done with it. Now most twenty six year olds have not been doing one job for over a third of their lives, but I have. It is a strange feeling to me that I only have two more days left of getting up on a roof or setting up a ladder first thing in the morning. From now on I am going to have to fire up my computer instead of an air compressor. I am going to have to set up sales pitches instead of nail guns and most importantly I am going to be working with a bunch of strangers instead of some of my best friends in the world. I have finally taken that first step into a much larger world, I am just hoping that when I finally get there, I like it. So with that, I will bid my old job a bittersweet farewell and hope the new job welcomes me with open arms instead of a swift kick to the balls. In closing, I will just say this: Why is it that every beginning has to come with an ending?

A change is a comin'.

So that job that I was complaining about a couple of posts ago, you know the one that they said I was not right for; well I got it. I actually got a new job in Michigan. I know what your thinking; is that possible? I didn't know there was new jobs in Michigan. Well, there is and I have one. I start it July 9th, so I still have a couple of weeks to chill out and get ready for it. I'm not gonna lie, I'm a bit nervous about the whole thing. I have never had a full time desk job. I am now going to have to deal with office politics and working with women. It is going to be so strange but also very exciting at the same time. Now I'm not sure if this is the case, but I think with this job I might actually be a grown up now. Well, let's hope that I'm wrong on that one. The one thing that I know I am right on though is that a change is a comin'.

Amy Winehouse is pretty wonderful!

So I bought the Amy Winehouse album last week and I can't stop listening to it. She's got this got sultry voice that sounds like she was born in the wrong era. She reminds me a little bit of Stevie Wonder, except that she is female and as far as I know has sight. Anyways, I just thought I should share that with myself, since I'm pretty sure nobody is reading this. Which is of course fine by me.

A door is not closed, it is propted open.

So I was a bit of a whiner after my job interview the other day, I'll admit that. It was all, "I'm pathetic, I will never get a job", type of stuff all day long. It was sad and stupid, but hey, that is me. So that happened and that is that, right? Well, here's the thing. I was going to call them back on Friday, just to follow up to thank them for the experience that they gave me. I figured that anything I went through, was an experience that I did not have prior to the situation. So I called them back today to thank them for all that they put me through, but instead of just saying thank you, I told them that despite their decision, I thought that I could be an asset to their company. This obviously struck a chord with them because within a half hour(or was it an hour, I guess it does not matter), they called me back and said that they were still interested in me. They even said that they would call me back next week to follow up on the job.

This to me is kind of funny. I find it funny because unlike the other day when I was so full of confidence, today I had nothing to lose so it felt almost liberating to give them a call. I called them and told them exactly what was on my mind and it might have actually paid off. So that leaves me with something that a very close friend said to me in regards to the job. She said to me that, "Even though I was down, the situation was less a closed door and more like a door propted open". Which is why I even wrote about this today.

It is weird, sometimes when you think everything thing that you have worked hard for was worth nothing, you can be completely mistaken. It is the reason I have such close friends, they usually know what is good for me better than I do.

Life is sort of funny sometimes.

So today I had a job interview. Well actually it was my third interview for a sales postion at a radio station. These interview's have been going on for over a month now, which meant I was pretty confident about getting the job. (Minor sidenote: Confidence can sometimes be a bad thing, which in my case today proved to be correct). So I go to the interview and meet with the guy who I have been talking to for a while now. Which is cool because he's a real nice guy who I have been getting along great with, hence the third interview.

As we are sitting down in this board room talking, this other guy comes in and wants to meet me. I knew he was coming in, so it is not like it is some big surprise. This guy seems nice as well and we start talking about the job and my personal experiences. This leads to me talking non-stop about all the crap I have done in my life, you know, the blah blah blah stuff that goes on in interviews. After about twenty minutes or so he ask's me if I have any questions, to which they happily answer. Then all of a sudden the new dude starts to talk about how I am more of a relationship person and that they are afraid I will not be able to handle the rejection of the job. I disagree with this assement but it is a fair observation for them to make. Then they tell me that they can tell I have a passion for something else and that they are worried that three months from now I will get bored and move on. This I can't disagree with, but it also leads to the following and obvious conclusion; which is that they are not interested in me.

This decision at first is sort of surprising to me but I'm not really that bummed because the job is not really my cup of tea anyway. The thing that is so annoying and kinda funny about it all is that I am totally bummed out about it. Never in my life have I been so bummed out about not getting something that I didn't want in the first place. So like I said, life is sort of funny sometimes.

I'm kinda retarded.

So it is now Tuesday and the only reason that I have not posted anything since Saturday is because I am retarded. I go to sign in yesterday(or was it Sunday, I don't know) and I can't remember for the life of me what my username is. So being the patient person that I am with computers, I turn it off and decide to figure it out another day. That brings us to twenty minutes ago, which is when I decide to sign on again. Since I am really smart I just assume the problem will fix itself and I will magically remember what my username is and be on my merry way. This is of course not how it works and it takes me a good twenty minutes to figure out that my username is just my email address. What this long and useless story boils down to, is that I am kinda retarded.

I'm finally going to do it!

I am finally joining the 21st century, (or would this be considered the 20th century?) I really don't know. Either way I have a blog to fill up now, somewhere I can write my random thoughts and observations about the little fantasy world that I have created for myself. The name of the blog is in reference to my new motto, "What are you going to do?." It means that I am no longer going to pine over stuff that keeps me down. If you just realize that sometimes things suck, life gets much easier to live. It does not mean that I no longer care about anything, it just means that I am going to desperately try to keep everything in perspective. Life is good, even when things seem like one big suck fest. I like the saying also because it is a rhetorical question, which is why I put the period after the question mark(I'm so clever, I know). The thing that is best about this blog, is that no one is going to read it. Now I am not saying that no one would read it, I am saying that I am not going to tell anyone about it. At least not yet. Anyways, this could be a good time filled with inconsequencial situations and witty banter. I just hope I remember past today that I created it.